Day Whatever through 15

Let's play catch-up shall we?

Today's {twelve} days of love will be in list format. 

I love.

buying and giving presents

my knowledge of sewing and my sewing machine

diet coke

that I have a job interview {with DCFS} on Tuesday

homemade bread

Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Ella Fitzgerald's holiday music

making people laugh

counting down the days til I go home

not doing my hair

my dog

my j

It was hard for me to love for a few days. The job search wasn't going well. Money was tighter than tight. {let's be real, it still is} j and I were getting more and more frustrated with each other. Our current jobs are irritating and pointless. Finding love wasn't my top priority. In fact, I sat down to blog one day, and I couldn't think of a single damn thing that I loved. Thats not a good place to be. 

But now off to conquer the world sew. Parents' xmass gift has a week to be completed {yeah right}. Pictures to come when its been gifted 

love.

day three

Fooooorrrrrrccce!!!!!!!

I totally do not want to write tonight. Like, I'm forcing myself to blog. I'm forcing myself to think of something I love. Why is it so much work tonight?

I had a pretty shitty day.

I'm tired.

I'm sick of being on the computer {say what?}.

I'm a cynical ass.

I was called by a company in Utah that I applied to. They offered me an interview. I told them I live in Texas. They told me the only do face-to-face interviews.

I cried.

They moved on.

Please don't let every phone call go that way...

Remember how on day one I said I loved my job? Big. Fat. Lie. I realized today how shitty it actually is. I realized that I do way more work than I'm paid for. I realized how much more I could be making. I know I should be thankful for having the job, but I've just got to bitch sometimes.

Talked to a friend who is trying to expand her family. Which made me think about all of my friends. All are married. Most are working on children {some their first, some their multiples}. And I'm over here like, I like my dog and wine.

Basically, its really hard to find something that I love today.

I do, however, love having a place to vent. I love that I have people who will {pretend to} listen to me. I love having this blog to write whatever the hell I want. All too often I let my frustrations out on those closest to me, J and the dog. This is something I'm trying to work on {note the vague-ness there}. I love having a constructive place to let out my emotions.

There.

Done.

rough.

day two

day two

my family

Given, right?

Sundays are my favourite days. I Skype my family every Sunday. I see my padre, mommy loo and Herm every Sunday. I laugh with my parents and brother every Sunday. Moving away has made me realize how much I really do love them. Of course I love my family, I'm supposed to right? They raised me, lived with me, supported me. 

But who else will join me in saying "ermergerd! kerfer werth lerker!" Who else will try to touch their tongue to their chin with me? {which I can do by the way} Once, after dinner was ate and dishes were clean we were all gathered around the counter with a cake box in the center. Herm started a beat on it, I added. Dad started beating in time. Mom looked at all incredulously, then joined in as well. This went on for pretty much a full minute until we all realized how ridiculous we looked. Come on, family drum circle time? It was stupid, funny, crazy, and wonderful.

I can't wait til I get to spend some time with those crazies again. December 23 is only 21 days away. Three weeks!

{maybe I'm the crazy??}

month of love: day one

As is obvious, I suck at blogging. 

Also, sometimes, I suck at life. 

I have a hard time being thankful for what I have, I have a hard time showing appreciation, I have a hard time thinking of things I love. Instead, I focus on things I don't have, things I hate, things that could be better.

But in reality, I don't have things all that bad. I mean, sure, I'm dirt poor and live in a {pretty much} foreign country, but things could be a hell of a lot worse.

So I'm starting this month with a purpose. I want to focus on things I love. I want to challenge myself to find something I love every day. Something different. Something {hopefully} not materialistic.

Day 1

my job

So I don't particularly love my job, its definitely nothing special. But I have one. I make money. Its not a lot, but its money. Its hard to be a college graduate working for eight an hour at a mall. But I am more fortunate than the mother of three who waits tables. Or the disabled veteran who can't find work. Or the minority worker picking vegetables in the hot summer sun. I am fortunate that I work in an air conditioned, clean building. I am fortunate in knowing that my job won't unexpectedly end. I am fortunate in having co workers that I {mostly} get along with.

Hopefully, by the end of this month, I won't be quite the cynical asshole that I am now.